Which is better than a fist fight, if you think about it.
We’ve been warned (a lot) that this process will induce abnormal amounts of tension in a relationship. Boy howdy. I try to imagine what it’s like for Gina sticking me with a needle, having to hurt me, two, three times, sometimes four time a day. I imagine what it’s like for her to have to figure out quickly how to do it all – without mistake. I do my best to praise and thank her and acknowledge her because the truth is, no matter how much I imagine, I don’t know what it’s like to be in her shoes.
And of course, she has no idea what it is to be in mine; tummy bruised like a pin cushion, just trying to look for even a tiny spot that hasn’t been pricked yet. No control or say over the pricks and sticks or what’s happening to my body. Emotions riding wild from hormones being taken hostage, more weight gain than they tell you about and a headache that’s migraine-style to boot.
Cherry-up that sunday with our shared hope (and desperation?) that this “one shot” really, really work.
No wonder we got in a fight last night. Lots of needs not getting met on both sides. A hard ride for us both right now; sometimes in further places from each other than closer. Yelling at midnight and finally ending in love and hugs and tears. Connected again but still tender, we slept. Woke up to a new morning and right there, another injection. We did a few things differently both of us and trust that we’ll keep finding our way.
I called Caitlin this morning to ask a few questions and schedule my next appointment. I shared with her about our fight (lightly shared, I didn’t dump on her, I promise). She assured me it’s all very normal and part for this course. In the end, she reminded me with a big smile to hang in there and that soon we’ll “really have something good to fight about”. Clearly I’m still a bit gun-shy from the past few years because I couldn’t quite fathom; I said, “You mean a baby?”
“Yep. I mean a baby. You’ll have good reasons to fight then.”
Oh, I am soooo looking forward to those fights instead of these. Come on, baby!