I’ve been trying to get this post out for over a week! I have lots of photos that I intended to share at the bottom of this post but they’ll have to wait.
I’ve been a little side-tracked by some strong and frequent contractions this evening. All is well it seems. We’ll talk with midwife more tomorrow and get an herb that helps calm things down. Midwife doesn’t seem worried, so I am trying to stay calm, too. I’ll send pics out in the next post, likely tomorrow and of course keep you updated on the belly. For now, here’s all kinds of other updates.
More Hormone Soup
A new level of hormones kicked in about 2 weeks ago. I find myself sobbing one minute, worried the next and irritable in another. I’m tired, too. Tired like back in first trimester tired. I spoke with other twin mamas of girls (i.e. estrogen overload) who said they felt the same way at this stage in the pregnancy. One even laughed with love, saying, “Oh, gosh. I remember that so distinctly! Right around week 26 I just started sobbing on the couch daily.” That’s always validating to hear, even though it’s no fun for anyone.
Facts that Make You Say, “WoW!”
Last week my midwife told me that even though I’m still in my second trimester, that I should think (and act) as if I’m in my third given my hormone levels, weight and size/measurements. This explains why people have started to ask me if I’m due soon!
- At 25 weeks pregnant, I am measuring at 34-35 weeks pregnant
- This is 9 weeks ahead of a singleton at this stage– right on track for twins
- This also means that I measure, look and feel 4-6 weeks from a singleton full-term pregnancy (40 weeks).
- I grew 7 weeks worth (7 centimeters) in just 4 weeks! We knew it was a big growth month but holy cow! Almost double the growth in just one month! No wonder my body feels as if it’s ripping apart at the seams.
- If I go 40 weeks, I still have 15 weeks left.
- If I make it to 36 weeks (the minimum the midwife and OB hope for), I have 11 weeks left (about three months).
- I now weight 170 pounds and my blood pressure is still nice and low.
- My waist now measures 42.5 inches. My boobs, a whopping 44 inches.
Whenever I feel like I’m being wimpy or wonder why I’m so tired or hurty, I think about all the above and instead feel damn proud that I’m doing so, so well and growing these babies nice and big. I am managing to keep my spirits up and my life together– mostly. 🙂
Work and Daily Activities
I have 1.5 weeks left with clients and it feels like it’ll take all I’ve got to get there. I really can’t wait to be done with work– it’s just so dang uncomfortable to sit in the chair for that long and stay so focused.
I sent out my “I’m going on maternity leave” newsletter yesterday. Despite the fact that my mind and body are so done, some part of me was resistant. It was scary to send out. I kept putting it off. What if they all leave and are not there when I come back? What if this really, really messes up all the momentum I’ve built up with my business? Plus, I’ve worked since I was 14 and haven’t stopped since…and even though I feel so incredibly grateful for Gina and a blessed life that I can stop work long before the babies come (for their best interest), I feel so mixed about it– guilty, like I’m not doing enough, sad for Gina (even though she swears she’s fine), and maybe even some weird identity stuff. None of it is rational: who KNOWS when and if and how I’ll even go back to Restoring Power and obviously I’m carrying my weight (no pun) around the household. I know, intellectually, that gestating these babies trumps all. Still… all my “stuff” is right there, ready to sift through and learn from.
As for the rest of my days, when I don’t see clients I feel pretty busy with doc appointments, prepping and eating food (and cleaning up after), household stuff to manage, and baby prepping; it’s actually conscious work to not pack too much into each day even when I don’t see clients (and especially when I do). If I do pack too much in a day (which is often cuz I’m thick headed), I really pay for it at the end of the day with an aching upper rib cage/fascia, a sore, sore pelvis and bruised and/or swollen feet. A packed day now is so different from a packed day pre-pregnancy, it’s a big mental adjustment. And so, I find myself declining lots of lunch offers, social outings and the like and if there is something I really want to do in the evening, I have to rest, feet up all day. It’s a new world, I’ll tell ya.
Body
My body is starting to hurt more…that fascia stretching thing around my sternum and below my breasts is pretty damn painful every day now. The weight of the babies just pulls it and stretches it. There is a reprieve in the morning but by night I’m icing it regularly, not because I think it helps, but it feels better than the burning and stretching. Laying down most of the day keeps it from hurting too.
On the opposite end of my torso, my pelvic bone is getting a workout and also painful. It makes me a little nervous that it’s getting worse daily but I’ve checked it out with OB, ND and Midwife and unfortunately, they all say, there is just not much to do about it. I’m trying a physical therapist this week who says she can help anyway. We’ll see.
Mostly I feel the babies move quite a bit now. They are both head down even though they don’t need to be now, so that’s pretty awesome. Baby A is particularly low which may be why my pelvis is so sore and it’s certainly why I need to pee every 20 minutes! 🙂 The weekend before last was slightly busy and parts of it stressful and I didn’t feel them move at all– even after trying a few tricks to get them to do so. Doc told me if that happens again to go in for an ultra sound ASAP– that I should be feeling them every day all the time now. I was worried when I didn’t feel them but didn’t want to panic. I’d also been told that babies sleep a lot so I was trying to be brave until appointment today. I won’t be doing that again. I’d rather look like an overzealous first-time mother than have something go wrong (or worry for a few days).
On an deeper level, I think it’s pretty cool that they could still themselves or go deep back inside or something like that when I was feeling maxed. I’m not sure what was going on but I like to make up that they knew how to keep themselves safe.
In other news, I still puke. Can you believe? The cold/bug I caught sort of conjured all that up again and even though I’m no longer symptomatic from the cold, I still have just enough mucous and stuffiness to make me toss my cookies just about each morning and sometimes again later. Ah, well… at least I’m not nauseas anymore.
Had a little scare on Friday where I went to the pool (felt even better now that I’m so much bigger) and a 12 year old boy kicked me in the stomach. Hurt like hell and scared me even more. I called both OB and midwife and seems all I got was a bit of a bruise. My girls are in water and I was in water so we are all lucky we had lots of padding. Still, this coming ultrasound, I’ll be a bit extra glad for… just to reassure me.
Good news on the body front: I’m sleeping like a champ, I have no sciatica or heartburn and my swollen feet are at a minimum compared to others I’ve seen. Phew!
Classes and Other Groovy Learning
We went to our first class. It was Twins 101. Unfortunately, it was not great. BUT, Gina and I did learn that we are so much better prepped than we thought. As first time parents, obviously, we can never be fully prepared, though we learned that we are as set-upand resourced as we possibly can be. We are SO gonna rock this!
I sat (okay, I laid down) with my friend Sonja this week and she shared with me her birth story. I’d heard it before but this time I listened with new ears. I had new questions. I heard new things. It was such a gift. I left thinking about it for a long time; feeling really inspired that she created a completely wonderful, natural birth in a hospital– with just about everything she wanted. She birthed her 10lb 4 oz baby who was occiput posterior (OP) position (sunny side up) vaginally and naturally (no meds) using nothing but her inner power, her belief that her body was made to do this, her commitment, her husband and hynobirthing. If you can’t get inspired by that, you might be dead.
I saw my Doula this past week for a Flower Essence “reading”. She made a customized flower essence for me which I’m finding much peace in. Jesse lives on 5 acres of gorgeous land that is quiet but filled with life. We sat on her deck and chatted a bit first. While doing so, a Red Tail Hawk came flying by, swooping low right in front of me… then up and away. It sailed across the opening in the trees stunning me with it’s beauty. Even though I had never seen one before in my life, I immediately knew exactly what it was. You may remember the Shamanic Session I did back in the first trimester? She said then that my totem was a Red Tail Hawk. It’s purpose was to teach me about delivering a message, seeing a larger Vision and looking in new ways that I am to be of service. Here are a few more facts about The Red-Tail Hawk as a Totem.
Role: ~The Visionary~
Lesson: Discover Dormant Abilities
Element: Fire/Air
Wind: ~East~ Illumination & Peace~
Medicine: Channeling
Key Words
Awareness of the Big Picture
Guardianship
Truth
Channeling
Visionary
Latent Power
Higher Calling
Illumination
Observation
Enough said, no?
Gifts
It’s a bit overwhelming how many gifts are coming our way. From the cutest little hot pink Nike tennis shoes that you ever did see (thank you Kori!) to maternity shoots (thank you Linda!) and previously owned favorites (breast pump, bottle warmers, cribs… the list goes on thanks to Linda, Sonja, Sam, Rhona, Amy and others I know I’m forgetting), to a gorgeous print for the girls nursery from our friend Jessica in Sweden (which we fell in LOVE with and have already framed).
Our house is filled with goods for the girls and it’s finally starting to sink in as the nursery is now empty with primer all on the walls (thank you Gina)… we are going to have TWO babies here in a matter of months. It’s exciting and overwhelming all at once.
Social Stuff
We’ve had all kinds of social stuff from our friend Kerry’s 50th Birthday Party to a KD Lang Concert (whereupon I cried hearing Hallelujah and I could feel the babies just loving the song– which is now on their playlist), to Linda and Ryder’s visit (complete with maternity shoot).
This weekend I’m performing a wedding, seeing lots of clients as I wrap up final sessions and we have an ultrasound scheduled. This week will be the last big push in terms of scheduling. After that, I’m feeling home free to really take care of my body and babies exactly as I like each and every day.
Photos
Lots of fun photos to share this week. I’ll post them tomorrow.