The Great Eight

A while back I wrote about all the things that people told me about having kids… Lessons Learned. One of the things I didn’t say there was that I’ve heard over and over that 7-10months is a favorite time of development. I used to ask why. Now, it’s clear. They are alert, engaged and changing right before my eyes. It really does keep getting better and better. So far, 8 months old is… I can’t find the right word. Amazing. Incredible. Phenomenal. Sweet. None  are quite enough or sound over zealous. Suffice to say, so far, this stage is prime.

The girls are so fun, so engaged, so in love with each other; and we are so in love with them.

Music
We started a music class, gifted to us by my Mom, called Music Together. Last week was the first week the girls went and I cried happy tears the whole time. I’ve known about Music Together for more than 8 years and have dreamt of taking my girls ever since.

We’ve been to two classes and so far they are expressing themselves musically way more — singing and drumming– it’s amazing! Sometimes all we do for hours or more is make music together.

Their favorite instrument in class is the egg shaker, so, while we rarely buy them toys or “stuff” we got them 2 wooden egg shakers each. They hardly put them down.

We obviously (highly) value music in this household, so this part of their lives truly is a joy for us to watch and experience.

Developments for the Girlies
Highlights for the girls include greater motor skills, like Calliope pulling and standing up on her own for the first time at 8mo 3 days old (which happened to be our 12 anniversary). And finer motor skills, like Genevieve picking up her little organic “O” puffs with her hands and getting them into her mouth. As much as I want to keep them my little babies I can’t ignore the fact that they look so proud, so excited of their new feats. They want to keep practicing their newly acquired skills over and over. It’s inspiring to watch.

They love to explore the whole house now. We have up baby gates and pillows, locks and snaps. The house gets baby proofed more every day. Despite that tiny fact, Miss Calliope has managed to have 4 major falls (like, bruising and blood involved kind of falls) in just 2 weeks. (Though I keep a CLOSE eye on her) I think she’s just that kind of curious, adventurous girl.  When they are both up and going, they keep me on my toes. I am never not moving or chasing after one of them and at any given time in the day, I’m likely sweating.

They love to play with their toys, boxes and anything that makes sound. Especially since their music class–they drum, bang and sing out more frequently and with great vigor (especially G- she loves to sing out loud). Of course we are singing and dancing more with them now too. In fact, Calliope has started to do this new little wiggle that seems to be her form of dancing. It reminds me of what my niece Lindsay used to do when she was the same age. Adorable.

As for physical stuff, the most notable thing to me is that their faces are filling out a bit— people are starting to say that they look more and more alike. I kinda of agree. Although, that said, their eyes are each of their most prominent features and yet they are becoming more and more distinct from each other. Calliope has these beautiful tear-shaped eyes that droop downward at the ends (she must get them from the donor as they are nowhere in my family but strangely look a bit like Gina’s eyes). Genevieve has these gorgeous almond- shaped black pools for her eyes (that do run in my family). Lastly, their hair is starting to grow fast and furious and boy is it curly! C’s might be just wavy, but G? That girl has got some kink! I love it. Hopefully she will too as she grows older.

Sleep
The girls love their sleep. Unless they are going through a major milestones (learning to crawl, walk, talk or teethe) they get all cozied up in their sleep sacks, we say our prayers and sweet nothings to them, we kiss them until they can’t stand it anymore and then they lay their heads down and start snoozing, sometimes before I am/we are out of the room. It makes my heart sing to know that they feel so safe and yummy and cozy in their room and in their beds.

They go down between 6pm and 7pm and they sleep until 6:15/7am. They wake once still but it’s much later now, at 3:30 or 4pm. We are still not inclined to wean them from that night feeding because so far they just keep pushing their own wake time back further and further. Not to mention we haven’t had to wean them from any of the other feedings– they’ve just done it on their own. Besides we prefer to follow their lead, particularly the first year to 18 months as we believe their needs and wants are pretty much all the same during this time. We are getting plenty of sleep so long as it’s not a hard teething night or sick night. If we are asleep by 10pm, which we almost always are, we get a solid 5 or 5.5 hours, plus another 2-3 after their feeding. I almost always get 6-7 hours of sleep. Gina often gets 8 or 9  (I still get insomnia at certain times of the month). Anyway, overall, not bad! Since the girls get up early, Gina and I take turns each morning for who gets up on the early shift so the other one can sleep in just a little.

*Note: I wrote the above paragraph about a week ago. Since then, the girls had their first “sleep through the whole night” night! They went down at 7pm and woke up at 5:45am! Just like everyone says, I woke up startled and scared something was wrong but in a fraction of a second I knew the milestone (miracle) that had just happened. I whacked Gina on the arm, “Honey! They did it! It’s 5:45, they slept through the night!”

Then, the following 8 days were hell. They were teething, gassy (new food asparagus), constipated (not enough water on these suddenly hot days) and in general were up and down all night long. Sleep for the grown ups went down to 5-6hrs. Ugh. But, like always, it all just comes in waves and we are back on track now. 

Family
My mom and my nephew are coming out next week and despite the videos, picture and Skype I really can’t wait for them all to be together in person. It’ll be a short visit– just 3.5 days but I have a feeling it’ll be great.

Gina and I
Still in our sweet spot. We’ve all found a rhythm to our days and our life together. Still, we marvel that we have two daughters. Still. I wonder if that will ever change. In the meantime, Gina and I celebrated our 12 anniversary (7 years married) on July 10th. We went out for a grown-up dinner, had a cocktail and talked about things other than our girls. It was really, nice.

We are doing a lot more as a family now. Hikes, outings, picnics, visits to friends houses, street fairs, ice-cream trips. Soon we’ll take the girls swimming in a big pool (not just the soaking pool at Kennedy School) and to the Zoo and who knows what else.

We are wearing the girls much more now that they are big enough to fit in an Ergo. We have two matching green Ergos that we all love. If there are two of us, we almost always have them strapped on to us and no stroller. Not only does it feel so much better to wear them (close heart-to-heart yumminess) but it’s easier then lugging the stroller around. I LOVE the stroller, don’t get me wrong. I take them for walks and the occasional run when I’m solo. It just feels good (for them and us) to have them so much closer to us more often now.

Me
I’m eating clean still (during the week) and have managed to lose about 10lbs. My body feels better (including my back). I have about 10-15 more to go to pre-baby weight. I’d like to start exercising more (for better sleep and health) but not sure when to fit it in… in time, it’ll come.

Perhaps because we’ve hit a steady rhythm now and have been out of crisis mode for a while, I find myself processing the birth and the days after the birth quite a bit. Some of it makes me so happy I cry. Some of it makes me so sad I cry. Some of it feels so tender I find myself setting it aside, waiting to take it to therapy (if I can ever get myself there). Some things fall in the middle; like things I just wish I’d done differently but didn’t know what I didn’t know (ie. stay home just a bit longer, savor the labor just a bit more, be more grounded and present with Gina and babies on the way to the hospital, etc.). And then there’s the nursing thing… I’m still working through all that. G is about to wean herself. She refuses more than she accepts now and sometimes days go by without nursing. My milk is now salty, a sign of weaning. I know I’ve done a great job with these two but there’s still grief (for me) that they didn’t get to nurse more.

Lastly, I feel like my brain is coming back. I’m thinking critically again (about work, politics, our financial future, etc.). I’m thinking externally and outward, curious about people and things outside my home and family. That feels…. interesting. It’s not like it was before, because of course there is a new normal now. It’s like before with a twist of perspective and fundamental paradigm shift. In many ways, I’m much more relaxed. For sure I am more compassionate, less judgmental. And by far, I’m simply happier (and complain less Gina tells me). 🙂 Thank god. I needed that.  My family needed that.

Gina
Steady, awesome Gina. She is amazing. Works like a horse to support her family and still manages to split duty with me 50/50 when she’s home. Sometimes more. (For me, this has been incredibly healing as so much of my personal triggers have been about carrying more than my share of the weight). She misses the girls like crazy when she’s gone and they miss her too. Mondays are hardest for everyone. The girls miss her greatly after having been with her all weekend and are a bit fussier because of it, especially at bedtime. So, I take lots of pics and send them to her throughout the day. That said, Summer months are slower for work so we sometimes have 2.5 or 3 day weekends together and it’s divine. On those occasions we feel so lucky.

Gina signs (ASL) with the girls a lot. They love it but now they are actually starting (just this week) to understand and even attempt a sign or two. C was trying to sign something yesterday but it was unclear to me what it was (food, Mommy or cat). Gina missed it which broke her heart but the next day she saw Calliope signing “more” during meal time- she does it pretty consistently now. Soon they’ll be signing up a storm and Gina will be beaming, I’ve no doubt.

Below are a smattering of pics from the last month.

Enjoy.
xo,
regina