I led the third Restoring Power Organic Retreat this past weekend and it was absolutely incredible. The women, the work, the land. And this time we were blessed with an amazing full Aquarian Moon and Gina. Made better together, even.
Friday night was my last night on birth control pills and by Sunday I started a period. Unfortunately, by Monday morning I started with an insanely intense headache and deep cramping, too. By Tuesday I called Caitlin who told me that it was really normal to have an intense headache (migrain-like) given they have forced my estrogen to drop so low.
When she said that, something all the sudden made sense. It was like I could actually feel my body depleted of something but I didn’t know what. I felt flat. Without. Not quite right and definitely off. Estrogen. Who knew? Caitlin assured me that in a few days when we start the stimulation drugs (as opposed to the suppression ones that I am on now) that I would feel much “happier”. “We women like to be high on estrogen”, she said. I like the sounds of that.
Tomorrow, Thursday, I go in for a “suppression check” where they do a vaginal ultrasound to ensure that all my eggs are being quiet and are fully suppressed. Saturday we start the stimulation injections. It’s supposed to snow 4 inches tomorrow so I pushed back my doc appointment to make sure roads would be open and such.
The Luprin shots are going well… easy peasy. One side is always more sensitive than the other. Sometimes, on the easy side, I can’t hardly even feel it. “Are you in yet?” I ask in what seems to be only one of many ironic questions I’ve asked along the way.
I had acupuncture again today and it was extra pinchy on account of my period (makes me more sensitive). But I’ve been eating warm food and my uterus seems to be warming up.
At night I dream not just a lot (as usual) but intensely, and about my getting pregnant. Last night I dreamt that I was being told by guides of some sort that they were making sure my uterus was nice and full and the lining was thick. In fact, the last few nights have been sort of like that… all intense full of messages from my team beyond about my pregnancy.
I think the last thing to share is that I feel more and more certain every day that I will- we will- be pregnant. In fact, I’m not even scared to say, I KNOW we will. I know.
So, bye-bye Dreaming. Bye-bye Hoping. Bye-bye Wishing.
Hello “Knowing”. Hello “Trust”. Helloooo, Baby!