Needles

I was getting a needle stuck in my vein this morning and I began to wonder: “How many needles has this body taken in the six months?” If I had a dollar for every one…

Acupuncture
Let’s see… there’s acupuncture 2-4 times a month. About 6-20 needles each time- doctor pending. Let’s say an average of 10 needles each time. That’s an average of 30 needles a month, there. I wasn’t doing acupuncture quite as often some of those months, so let’s be conservative and say 30 a month the last four months (120) and about 10 a month for the two months before (20). That’s a total of 140 pricks.

Blood Draws
Then there’s the blood work. So many, I not only know the names of all the flabotymists but some of their family members, too! I used to get blood drawn just about once a month. Then, once every other week, then weekly. Now it comes out every other day. Let’s not forget all the blood draws from when I hoped I was pregnant (or when I WAS a little bit pregnant and hoped I’d stay a lot pregnant). Okay, but we’re sticking with the last 6 months so  let’s get back on track. I also had surgery last month and all kinds of blood work there. They also needed to test me for chicken pox, thyroid, and std’s before we started (protocol). All in all, I’m gonna say that’s about 20 blood draws in the last 6 months. And probably another 8 in the next few weeks.

Surgeries
Okay, let’s see… what else. Well, there were 2 surgeries. My mouth surgery and my polyp surgery. Both required needles. My mouth surgery, I got five BIG giant needles in my mouth. Whew, glad that’s over. My polyp surgery, I got one in my butt. One in my arm and four BIG giant needles in my cervix. Even more glad that was over. So, that’s a total of what, 11.

Last but not least, there are the fertility drugs. Once a day for about seven days then twice a day for about 3 days and then, 3-4 times a day for the next 8-10 days. That’s an average of about 49 shots that Gina is administering.

Let’s do some math, shall we?
140 + 20 + 8 + 11 + 49= 228

That’s TWO HUNDRED and TWENTY EIGHT NEEDLES PRICKS IN MY BODY!!!

Wow. Good thing I’m not too squeamish about needles, eh? Still though, if this isn’t evidence enough that I REALLY want a baby, not sure what is.

So, now that that’s done. Pema’s here and I think there’s a beer and Oscar’s in my near future. 228 needles. I think I deserve it.