Monday I spent recovering from the food poisoning and Tuesday, today, I went to the reproductive doc to get a few pre-tests done for our pending adventure.
I was suppose to come in with a full bladder but because I was so dehydrated from the food poisoning it was really hard to get my bladder full. God knows I tried. I was nauseas and worried I couldn’t keep it down.
So, the nice doc decided to do the “empty bladder test” first and the “full bladder test” later to give the water I was consuming in mass quantities time to make it’s way down. May have turned out to be a blessing.
He put a catheter up my vag, through my cervix and in my uterus. If you think that sounds painful, you are right. Of all the procedures in the past years, this was the most painful (and incidentally, one of the few Gina couldn’t be there for). Once in, he pulled the speculum out, attached a bag of saline then put an ultra sound probe up me. At this point, I was feeling some gratitude toward the probe for the pain it didn’t cause me.
Suddenly I felt bursts of water floating down my backside. The catheter wasn’t in enough. Sorry, he said. We are gonna have to do this again and deeper. It’s not in far enough. I’ll refrain from dirty jokes and sarcastic jokes here.
So, I breathed and braced. PAIN! Got it. Okay, onward.
He fills my uterus up with saline so that he can take a look around inside and make sure that all is well in my underworld. Turns out it’s not.
There was a big mass floating around in there. See it down below? The white blob inside the big dark cavity (that is my uterus)?
I always imagined someday I’d get to take these ultrasound pics home, so happy and proud to have a baby growing inside me. Instead, I am now the proud mother of (another) polyp or an enormous blood clot (I’m thinking it’s a clot because my last period was only a tease and I’m pretty sure all my lining didn’t shed- even thought to myself, I should take that herb to help the rest come out).
Turns out it doesn’t matter what I think. They need me in surgery. Thursday. Did I mention today is Tuesday? And that we are leaving Friday for CA for an important somatic training? Or that I have a crucial body work session with a client on Thursday afternoon that has been waiting over a month to happen?
They have to do the surgery inside a small window of my cycle- days 7-11 (so that the lining is not too built up) and doc may not be available this Thursday for surgery. If he’s not, I wait a month, let my period come and go again (and see if said clot above sheds with a little help from some Chinese Herbs and my natural health team). If it does not, I go in for surgery- they take a look and either remove it or leave it. If it’s a polyp that needs removing, we wait yet another month to let the lining of my uterus heal well enough to hold a pregnancy. At this point we could be on track for Febrary/March like we hoped or we could be looking at April or May.
Waiting for the call from the doc now. Meanwhile, I called my acupuncturist to get a second opinion. It was to have the surgery and get on with it asap.
The practice to simply surrender is hitting me over the head with a 2×4 and a blow torch. Let go. Everything is unfolding exactly as it should and I choose to believe that “setbacks” are really all just part of the grande plan to bring us a happy ending. Must believe. Must. Believe. Now.