Ever wonder what $4,000 worth of medication looks like?
That’s exactly what showed up on my front door this week. Some of it needing to be refrigerated immediately so I stayed home half day Friday to receive the order.
When it arrived, I tore into like a kid opening a long-awaited and much anticipated Christmas or Birthday gift. I didn’t realize how real this arrival would make Our New Adventure. I also didn’t realize how excited I was until now. Or, maybe it’s just that this arrival got me excited. Until now, it’s been test, poking, prodding, waiting, surgery, more test, more poking, more prodding.
Now, in a few days, I’ll start my period (I hope it will be my last period for a very long time). On day three of my cycle, I will begin taking birth control pills, in the world of fertility better known as “suppression” pills (because they will help to suppress my egg follicles from growing until we are ready to harvest them). I like to think of them as my “begin to take over my body” pills.
Ages ago I would never have imaged being excited by the prospect of having drugs take over my body and my natural cycle but life changes and I are forced to change with it. Perhaps I am less excited by the fact that drugs will take over my body and more excited by what’s available in my surrendering to that. Mmmh. Yes. I do believe that’s it. Any way you slice it, I’ve had a mental shift. A change in mind and heart. A willingness to open and create a new context. Let’s hope it does the trick.
